God is the only one who can say when the world is gonna end. So people need to stop acting like their smarter than God. cause your not. – Striker’s Facebook status last night.
My girl is not a strong speller, but I agree with her sentiment nonetheless.
Even though we’re officially behind schedule with the rapture now, at least in much of the world, the online reactions continue. And I confess, there is some pretty funny stuff out there. Horace Walpole said “The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Today I’m choosing the latter, at least for a bit.
And you know, it’s a nice coincidence that the rapture has fallen during Zombie Awareness Month. There are so many apocalyptic possiblities, and it’s always good to be on our toes. So I’m passing on some useful and gratifying treasures from the interwebs. I hope you find them helpful as you pack your emergency kit and write your last will and testament.
1) To cover a range of possibilities, check out this How to Deal With Your Impending Doom flowchart, from the Death Star PR department.
2) If the Rapture actually turns out to be the means of our departure, I think it behooves Christians to think ahead and be courteous toward those left behind. There is a lot of solid advice in this video. Trapeze artist.
3) If it’s nuclear war in our future (how old school!), perhaps you’d like to purchase a home that comes equiped with a bomb shelter. There’s a nice list of available properties here, from starter homes to luxury potential rubble.
4) The CDC is not leaving us unprepared for a zombie apocalypse. See their Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse article, and while you’re at the website you can bone up on how to cope with Bioterrorism and Radiation Emergencies, among other things.
5) It doesn’t have to be all serious thinking about the zombie apocalypse, though. Zombie Rama has a collection of zombie haikus. And you know, sharpening your brain with some poetry writing is always a good survival strategy. Here’s one of my favorite haikus from the site:
The spirit is now gone
the flesh decays, the mind blank
life, death, meaningless
6) What about aliens? We know they’re out there somewhere, and they’re coming to harvest our planet’s resources and (if we’re lucky) use us as slave labor. How to prepare for that? Well, ehow has instructions, but I think they’re not taking it seriously enough. This Reuters article has a bit more gravity.
7) What about the coming robot overlords? Most of us are like sheep, oblivious to the threats technology poses. Fortunately, WAR Defence is on the job.
8) But back to the Rapture….I’ve come to believe more in heaven coming to earth than in believers zipping off to heaven. But whether I exactly agree with the lyrics of this song or not (and whether I turn out to be mistaken or not), it’s a great song – especially when delivered by Gillian Welch. Enjoy.